Friday, May 24, 2013
Hi my name is Kennedydene' Wyckoff, I am 18 years old born and raised in Orem Utah. When I turned 15 years old my whole life changed forever. I want to use social media to get my story out there so no one has to ever feel alone. When I turned 15 years old I became a high school student at Mountain View high school like everyone else, I felt very scared the fact that I did not go to previous school with any of my classmates. I made varsity cheerleading as a sophomore. Another girl and I were the only two sophomores that had made varsity so I had felt very accomplished. When I started my school year off I was so excited to have all new friends on the squad and was so excited to be able to cheer for the high school varsity boys ( who wouldn't) well my high school cheerleading experience did not end up happening what I ever thought. MVHS got a brand new cheer coach this year and came in with a huge intimidation. She was so beautiful I couldn't of ever dreamed of having a coach like this.I was the youngest one on the team and the girls were not so nice to me. I tried to fit in with them but they would just make fun of me and my coach would as well so they figured it would be okay to say rude things to me. I had broken my foot at the start of the season and two of the girls had told me I was faking it and started spreading rude rumors about me. I felt so alone and had no one to turn to I had no one. I always had struggled in school and never felt very intelligent so I would act up in class even if it got me out of doing a test or my homework. In English class I worked so hard to get a good grade in that class and I would really work hard on studying my test. That year my teacher kept coming up to me and telling me that I had not turned in my test in weeks and blamed me for not turning them in. I found out later that the teachers aid did not like me (someone I never had talked to before) had ripped my papers up. As my sophomore year ended it was time to say goodbye to one of the worst years of my life and start on my next year of high school. Cheerleading try-outs came by again I was very hesitant about trying out but I found out that the coach was leaving so I figured lets give cheerleading another try. I tried out gave it my all I new for sure that I was going to make it. I felt to confident about what I performed. That night when the seniors from the previous year had came and kidnapped me they told my mom that I made JV cheer. WHAT!!!! how can I go from being one of the best ones on the team last year to JV. I was crushed I knew I had only made that team because my coach didn't like me. I was so sick inside that was the first time I had cried to my mom in years. Well later that night my new coach had called me and told me that I was going to be on varsity all along my old coach just didn't want me on varsity. So I gave cheerleading another try still no luck. I didn't find my close friends on the squad that I had hoped for. So many different groups I jumped in and so many best friends I hopped around in but I felt no one wanted to except me in there group. October 2010 I met a boy never thought I would find my first love in high school he was a dream.. Everything I had ever wanted in a boy. He was just perfect. I spent every waking moment with him. He attended another school. For 6 months things were magical till I started giving up the person I was just to make him happy. I didn't even know because I was so in love with him.. I would see texts from other girls but I thought never.... I would get these feelings inside but I figured no way. I didn't think I could be crazy about someone in high school. One day it was gone he broke up with me and I was not the same person ever again. That summer I wasn't the same person I was sad, confused, never thought I could feel like this. This was a start to a really hard trial words could not explain the feeling of emptiness. After this I tried to kiss everyone I possible could just to feel not alone. I started doing things that I would never do. My Sr. year was just a blur I had started cosmetology and the girls were so rude to me I got called a slut and whore in front of my whole hair school people stole things from me. One Sunday night I drove up to my spot and looked over the valley thought to myself people wouldn't mind if I died tonight. Girls bullied me anyway they could, writing mean things about me on the internet, Was not on track to graduating, boys took advantage of me. Right after I left, I drove to the cemetery to go see my dear friend who took her life earlier that year. As I was getting out of my car I could feel her there with me telling me things will be okay. That was the first time I had prayed in a long time. I decided to hold my suicide for a better time when I could plan everything out. That summer I was graduated from high school moved to California got my life straightened everything out came home started drinking again I was a mess. well, finally when I knew it was time to go I met someone... the love of my life Travis Johnson I know that god sent me him. People just see the pictures of me and him and see oh she is like every other Utah girl but the thing is god was looking out for me. Travis saved me. I couldn't of gotten close to my heavenly father without him. Sometimes we don't see the end to our trials and we just want to give up but that's god telling you that he's got something better for you. God doesn't give us trials unless he knows we are going to gain something out of it. I've learned through my experience that its okay to be alone just remember to live life everyday as if it was your last. There is happiness is every trial all you have to do is look for it.
Posted by kennedydene' at 4:39 PM